On trying too hard

I've been trying to nail my handstand for years. I've also been trying to elevate my guitar skills since my 17th birthday. My husband and I have been trying to start a family since last May. Trying is emotionally exhausting! Perhaps because trying implies that nothing is happening, and of all the attempts that have been made, not a single one produced the desired outcome. To put so much effort, for little to zero return, can make a girl go cray-cray. Frankly, I'm tired of the word TRY and I'm done using it. (Right click --->Remove from Dictionary) Here are three reminders that have helped me escape the rut that is trying, and to truly start living with more joy and more energy- let's call it Truckin. 

Reminder 1- Have patience through the ups and downs. 

I recall tireless hours in my driveway as a kid, practicing the jump rope. It felt like I had all the time in the world to nail down all the tricks the other girls were doing at school during recess. When I messed up, I started again- insistant that I'd get it the next time. Back then, so young but so unknowingly wise, it was like I knew that my willingness to practice and 'mess up' meant that I was getting closer to crushing it! I wasn't trying, I was just doing. Our tech is programing us everyday and with each sundown, we are less patient than the night before. We are learning that if something isn't happening right away, it's a fail. A loss. A glitch in the system. It's up to us, to update our own wiring with a practice of patience. 

Reminder 2- Be in the journey. 

The other day at my acupuncture appointment, I was sharing how repetitive the months can feel when I greet my girlfriends saying "No I'm not preggo yet, and yes I'll have another glass of wine. " It's almost like I can feel their sense of sorrow for me. Of course they have every good intention in the world, but I gotta say, their disgruntled sigh additionally reminds me that another month of trying didn't work. In defense of my uterus, why do we expect these things to happen so easily in the first place? Babies are freakin miracles! My acupuncturist neatly said, "Go back to enjoying the journey. You are in the journey of making a baby." as she poked a needle in my face. Then I was like "You're right! I'm gonna go text my boo and be like 'Bow Chica Bow Wow!'

Reminder 3- Let go every once in a while.

Then I'll take it to my yoga practice. Instagram has innocently populated the handstand and all kinds of upside down acrobatics that make being a yoga instructor quite interesting, as we evaluate the dichotomy of yoga tricks and a yoga practice. I happily admit to dreaming of perfecting my handstand and taking wildly beautiful photos of them, but I also preserve the right to not be perfect, especially as a teacher. My handstands are done against my kitchen wall, yet to be taken to cyberspace for all to see. to be honest, there have been many moments on my yoga mat that I am quietly pushing away the fear that my practice has reached it's peak. And just like they always say, you get pregnant when you stop trying. The same goes for a yoga pose. Example given:

For years, I couldn't find a bind behind my back because my shoulders were generously tight. I tried and tried and worked for that bind but it never seemed to open up. I forgot about that bind for a good 6 months. After a few life changes, a game changing trip to Central America and some emotional remodeling, I found myself in a random studio, with a random teacher and.... whuuu? - I got the bind! 

And the guitar? I'm going right after this blog post to go play those same chords that I've been playing for half my life, and I'm gonna love it! 

We can try endlessly and spend most of our time feeling like a total dud.

But I'd rather be in the 'Just Do It' group, throw on my Nike Airs and trust that every jump over that rope is one jump closer to recess bliss! 

Jamie