unedited for 100 days. Day 39

I recently made a vision board at a weekend work retreat. I've had it out on the counter in my bathroom which has turned out to be a great place for it. As I spend time brushing my teeth, flossing, slapping on some makeup in a very uneducated manor (bronzer goes where?), I read the inspiring reminders that decorate my little board. "I have an abundance of love to give and receive", "Create something everyday" and "Wake up grateful". I have always felt a sense of deep gratitude for my life. I remember when I was first learning of other possible birth countries in my young adolescence, acknowledging that I was extremely fortunate to have been born in the United States, where girls had access to the same education as boys and where I was free to believe in whatever god I wanted to. Today I tend to rely on gratitude as a grounding method. During times when my inner peace has been shaken by someone or something, I often refer back to gratitude in attempt to get back to a place where I can breathe deep and settle down. I'm learning though, that it doesn't always work. I think we can all agree that everyone experiences suffering. Suffering does not discriminate and there is no amount of success or happiness that will protect you from it. In acknowledging this, I ponder if statements like "Wake up grateful" put too much pressure on us. It's a common response we offer to one another in conversation as well. If someone opens up about something that's troubling them, they might expect to hear advice to remember that 'it could be worse' or 'at least you still have x, y, z'. Is it not okay for us all to feel sad, or mad, or feel stuck in a season of loss? Sure it's lovely to acknowledge each day some of the things that we are thankful for. But I also believe that it's just as important to give ourselves and one another the space and grace to be mad, sad, scared, confused, lost, anxious, regretful, angry and everything in between. In my recent opinion, the cute and innocent reminders 'to love fearlessly', 'spread joy' and 'be grateful everyday' might require too much of us. Because sometimes it just feels right to yell out an F-bomb or simply say "This sucks". Perhaps I will add a few four letter words to my vision board to remind myself to feel it all.