unedited for 100 days. Day 10

I am reminded daily of the strength I have lost since my pre-pregnant days. Damn, I really took my strength for granted back then. Now I have to get down on the floor just to make sure I can still do 10 basic push ups. I think most of my friends and family assumed that I would have had one of those pregnancy's that just seemed to cruise on by with an isolated pop of my belly. Hard no. Like 50 pounds hard no! Regardless, I stood in front of a fit crowd every day and continued to teach yoga and group fitness classes, while not one pound of me was worried about the way my body was changing. Perhaps a part of it was that we tried to get pregnant for two years. At a certain point, the only option is gratitude (truth!). Additionally, I always knew that there would be a time and place to get back to my wardrobe.  My season of being pregnant was so much bigger than that. 

Yesterday I celebrated my daughters first birthday! It was a gentle reminder that I have come a long way, yet I have plenty more to go. Although I am able to wear all my favorite clothes again, I cannot say that I worked for it. I know that may seem unfair but the fact that I dropped thirty pounds in the first two weeks postpartum made it clear to me that my weight loss (or weight gain) had nothing to do with working out. (Thanks water retention and raging hormones.) 

I am proud that I never freaked out about the number on the scale (even though my doc reminded me weekly that she did not recommend closing in on forty pounds weight gain during pregnancy- sorry doc! Got ya beat!). Additionally, I am proud that I have been patient with my body as I journey back to my days of kettle bell swinging and pistol squats. I equally accept that I have now graduated from early baby days and it's time to break a sweat. 

I humbly would like to remind us all, that what is seen on the outside is not the story in entirety.  Yes those fifty pregnant pounds are long gone, but my body still feels like it is in a million pieces and I am just now starting to put those pieces back together.